


Rita on the Job

by CarnalCoffeeBean



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon, and workplace negotiations, exploration of FRIENDSHIP!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 11:39:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17866574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarnalCoffeeBean/pseuds/CarnalCoffeeBean
Summary: The first case Rita ever goes on with Mistah Steel, she comes out the other end swearin’ she’ll never do it again.... then she goes on a few more, just to be sure.





	Rita on the Job

The first case Rita ever goes on with Mistah Steel, she comes out the other end swearin’ she’ll never do it again.

Not that it wasn’t excitin’—it was, all car chases and explosions and shootin’, _pew pew_ , and Mistah Steel swearin’ and laughin’ in her ear. Just like the streams, really, and they even got the bad guy and saved the day!

...and if she might’ve dropped her comms down a well so deep even Lassie from those old streams would’ve given up on Timmy, well.

And if it rang so loud and clear that everyone in a ten-block radius, never mind the thieves next door, could hear ‘em, well. And if _that_ maybe might’ve caused a little bit of a ruckus where Mistah Steel kinda got a real big shiner while Rita was clamberin’ around tryin’ to figure out how to remotely open a new-model electronic lock so they could get out quick, well.

And if leavin’ _that_ way had set off an alarm so loud it raised the dead, half of Oldtown, and the sewer rabbits from outta the busted-up manhole covers, well.

And if that had caused a bit of a problem with the police in the area, (which doesn’t really happen much in Oldtown, does it, and what were police doin’ there anyways, ‘snot like there’s a _beat_ or nothin’ in Oldtown, Rita used to work with the schedules, she knows this sorta stuff) which ended up with all of ‘em gettin’ dragged up to the central police office while someone tried to sort out the whole mess, and Mistah Steel gettin’ his temper up and yellin’ at ‘em halfway through, not helpin’ their case at all but really provin’ just how much that vein in his temple could bulge out, and that’s not a very attractive look in anyone, really, is all…

Well.

That wasn’t even her fault, really. Wells on Mars? Who put _wells_ on _Mars_? What were they hopin’ to get, ‘sides radiation? Who’s gonna dig a gigantic hole in the middle of Oldtown and just… leave it there? What’s even the point of that? Didn’t even cover it or nothin’.

The point is, the second time Rita goes on a case with the boss, she brings a bag with a real secure zip so that nothin’ can fall out.

The third time Rita goes on a case with Mistah Steel, she takes a good long time deciding whether she should take mediation tapes or chewing gum, because really it’s a coin-toss as to which woulda been more useful last time.

The fourth time Rita goes on a case with Mistah Steel, her comms are banned, but how’s she gonna help Mistah Steel with his research if she doesn't have her comms on her? He’s bein’ unreasonable is what he's bein', and it ain’t fair, and she brings two extra sets of comms just in case, ‘cause you never know. She sets ‘em all to silent and keeps ‘em right in that bag with the real secure zip.

The fifth time Rita goes on a case with the boss, she brings one set of comms. She checks that it’s on silent every 23 seconds for the first ten minutes, turns the sound on just to watch an itty-bitty part of a new stream trailer that’s comin’ out soon, forgets about turnin’ the sound back off for three hours, and slaps Mistah Steel in the face flingin’ her hand out in surprise when it goes off right as the perp comes outta the building they’re watchin’ ‘cause of course it does. She feels real bad about it, though, and gets him an ice cream after to make up for it. It works so well to improve her mood that she decides snacks need to go on the list too. (Well, salmon snacks were already on the list, but somethin’ for Mistah Steel, too, ‘cause her mom always said to share, but that doesn’t really mean _her_ snacks, just snacks in general. Right?)

By the eighth case Rita goes out with Mistah Steel, she’d like to think she’s something of an expert on it. She’s even got a go-bag with all her essentials.

On the ninth case, Mistah Steel tells her in no uncertain terms that if she wants to keep working with him, which means occasionally going out into the field, the go-bag stays at the office. Yes, even the first aid kit. Yes, even the snacks. Yes, even the superglue.

It’s rude, and it’s not very thoughtful of all her efforts in learning on the job, and she considers leaving for maybe 0.01% of a second.

(That’s not true at all, but it’s _dramatic_ , like that time on _Nebulous Nights on Neptune_ where the secretary was all fired up with some righteous indignation over the plight of the poor alien bug-men and the boss wasn’t listenin’ and was gonna relocate all the lil’ bug-babies to some terrible plague-infested forest to build new apartment complexes, and then the secretary was all, “If you do that, I quit!” And then it worked, and he didn’t do that, and all the bug-people died anyway the next episode.)

But the hours are good, and most of the time she’s able to talk to Franny and watch her streams as much as she wants. And besides, the boss would never get as much business as he did with her. He’s good people, definitely, but he's got no head for the finances or the boring, routine, day-to-day stuff that Rita does with her eyes closed (or, more usually, on the streams). He’s got no head for cleaning himself up or eating, either, and maybe it’s not really in Rita’s job description, but she gets a little worried about how often he forgets to eat or sleep anyways, not takin’ care of himself at all, and it’s none of her business, but really…

Anyhow, she doesn’t quit, never would’ve (even though it woulda been _dramatic_ ), but she does frown at him a lot, and sigh, and drag her feet, and complain just a little about work conditions and fairness and equal rights to bring your things where you want in the workplace, especially when it’s gonna be real useful one day, just you wait. And he knows he’s got the best damn secretary in Hyperion City because he rolls his eyes, snaps back a few witty remarks, tells her he’s not going to change his mind, just drop it Rita, and then, wouldn’t you know, one itty-bitty near-death encounter (that coulda been avoided with a bit of bubble gum and copper wire) later, he sits down, and they compromise.

A few cases later, Rita doesn’t go with him, and Mistah Steel gets himself tied up in some government official’s basement tryin’a solve a kidnapping. Rita’s gotta go and remotely wire the fella’s car so that it drives itself to the police station. Then she breaks the door down the old-fashioned way—by hackin’ into the keypad, 'course—and sends all the evidence on the computers she finds to the HCPD captain. She misses the series ten finale of _Trials and Travails on Triton_ , and her salmon snacks are stale and crumbly by the time she gets back to ‘em, and the boss’s all shaky and prickly and “I’m fine, Rita, stop worrying”-ing, with rubbed-red eyes and hunched shoulders like the weight’a the whole planet’s on ‘em.

The morning after, Rita gets to the office early. Mistah Steel’s already there. She takes one look at him and holds out her hand for his coat. He’s too tired, too stressed, too somethin’ to argue with her, and if that ain't a bad sign, she doesn't know what is, but there are more important things to consider, so. She sews a pocket cutter into his coat sleeve so she doesn’t have to miss her shows again, leaves the threads tied loosely so they're easy to pull out even with your hands tied. Mistah Steel, circles under his eyes so big you could probably bag your groceries in ‘em, nods, stiff, goes into his office, shuts the door, and snores the whole day.

If Rita keeps her comms and streams volume down and ignores the phone and the knock on the door, well. What the boss doesn’t know won’t hurt ‘im.

Mistah Steel leaves early that night. He doesn’t look great, but the bags under his eyes are lighter. Rita guesses that’s good enough for now.

The next case Rita goes on with Mistah Steel, she adds analog lockpicks, box cutters, and a sharp nail file Franny gave ‘er for special occasions. Mistah Steel gets real mad when her comms goes off, but they muddle through and solve the case anyway.

That night, way too late, so late it can’t even be called early morning anymore and ain’t that a crime, after the case is solved, Rita decides she’s gonna sleep through the whole next day no matter how many times Mistah Steel might call her (‘cept if it’s an emergency). 

And next case she goes on? Well, next case, she’s gonna bring an umbrella.

**Author's Note:**

> Rita on all the cases. Rita for every job. She's wonderful.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
